That Girl Has Wacky Priorities

Relationships are not my forte, I manage to stumble through them with lots of love and silliness, varying amounts of insecurity, a dash of cockiness and a lot of help from my friends (despite my poor track record with men, my girlfriends are golden!). And to prove that point to me, life recently reminded me that my priorities may be just a little out of whack.

I had dated a man for over 6 months. A smart, sweet, funny man. A man I grew to love. For the first time in years, I was dating someone about whom I could get excited and with whom I could maybe envision a future. And then I stumbled across his wife and was completely blown away. I learned rather quickly that everything about him - his name, family of origin, birthday, education, EVERYTHING - was a lie. I wasn't quite sure what to make of all this deceit nor could I fathom how anyone had the energy to live such separate lives. Never mind that his wife and I had unwittingly crossed paths and he was not just playing with fire but juggling it. With a blindfold on. With his hands behind his back.

I was angry. And oh so sad. I wasn't ready to let go; I felt like the man I knew had died when he actually never even existed. But I moved onward and upward. I asked a lot of questions. I managed to find snippets of humor in the idiocy of it all. I even began to feel sorry for him, offered him my friendship. I remembered why it had taken me so long to find love. I was reminded of why my truest love is my truest love and decided he just isn't replaceable. I was even able to be cordial to this manipulative person who continues to lie to women and live his fake life and I dubbed him "Frankthony," a nickname which perfectly blends his fake persona with his real name.

But I didn't really dislike him until a week ago. He never seemed truly wrong for me or truly "bad" until he called my beliefs "radical thinking." He read my blog about not visiting Florida and not eating food from businesses that support conservative thinking and politics. He was not going to deny himself something he enjoyed (Chick-fil-A) because of my crazed ideas of fairness. And that dear folks, made me realize he was all wrong. Infidelity? While I don't condone it, I can see that emotional pain may cause some to make that poor choice. Not standing up to prejudice? That is unacceptable in That Girl's book.