TG Changes her view, not her look

Many years ago I came across a picture of a chubby belly with hands shaped in a heart over the bellybutton. The caption said "Change your view, not your look." I loved that idea, it took the onus off me and everyone else who felt like they had to change something about their appearance to fit society's idea of beautiful.

But the idea is broader than skinny and fat, tall or short, and fashion statements. It also applies to how I see the world, how I can change my view on things. Once I embraced that idea so many things became easier, clearer, less painful. Songs that reminded me of old loves began to sound hopeful and promising. Books that contained loss weren't about the loss but about how the hero or heroine overcame. Holidays and seasonal changes no longer are melancholy but exciting as new traditions and memories are made.

The benefits of changing my view? There are hundreds! I am able to be grateful and happy and thankful. I can focus on the many blessings I have rather than ruminate on the losses and things that didn't work as I had wished. And there is a lot less guilt - I don't feel responsible for nearly as much sadness and hurt as I once did, I am able to be authentically optimistic and that feels really good.

There are drawbacks, too... my teenager recently told me that optimism was fine but wouldn't I be better off being a realist? And there are disappointments, certainly. Things I thought and hoped would work one way, didn't.  But all in all, changing my view has been wonderful for me... I feel so much more peaceful than I thought I could. And that is an amazing gift!