I have come to the conclusion that I am "that" girl. You know the one that can't leave the nail salon without messing up her pedicure? The one who can't go out to lunch without wearing her food on her shirt? I am the girl who talks a little too loud and laughs a little too long. There is a very good reason that my name isn't Grace. The heels on my shoes break and my skirts get stuck in my pantyhose. Though I have never left the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe, I have been know to get glue traps for bugs stuck to them. I trip UP the stairs and almost always slip on the ice. My sister isn't loud or messy and never, ever would bounce a check. My friends manage to make the most difficult and complicated tasks - like getting everything you are preparing for dinner ready at the same time! - completed with ease. I can't even wash dishes without soaking my shirt.
After 38 years of being that girl (just look at most of my school pictures, they illustrate this concept perfectly) I have decided to embrace her. I won't wear high heels anymore and to hell with pantyhose! I will wear shirts with patterns to hide my spills even though they draw attention to me. I will keep laughing and talking, loud as I am, and patiently wait for my toes to dry BEFORE leaving the nail salon. And embracing her is a relief, because now I can breathe. I can have fun. I can be comfortable in ALL of my own skin. And I can be proud, too.
I can be proud because "that" girl isn't just a clutz and a mess. She is also a good friend and, despite being unable to tell a joke, can be kind of funny. She remembers birthdays and favorite colors and the names of her friends children. Though her organizational skills are slightly lacking and her bed is rarely made, her intentions are always good. Her glassses are literally rose-colored and she views the world that way. She trusts people and believes that everyone has at least a little bit of good in them. She has faith that in the end good WILL overcome evil. And she says "I love you" easily and means it.
So, despite what I used to view as my many failings, I will hold my head up high and trip along my path in life. I hope you will join me from time to time, be it for a smile, a cup of coffee or just to wander together a while. You may get a little messy or have to pick me up after I stumble but we will have a wonderful time.
And now, ten months later, I am still that girl. I have grown since I introduced TG to the world. I have grown more in that time than I probably did in my first year of life. But re-reading this made me realize I love being TG. I love her foibles and silliness. And I love her big heart. Of all the change I am embracing, I don't want to change TG.
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